


still with hearts beating

by oswins



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, First work for this fandom, i don't know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1769380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswins/pseuds/oswins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love was never an option.</p>
            </blockquote>





	still with hearts beating

**Author's Note:**

> "Hate is spitting out each other's mouths, but we're still sleeping like we're lovers." ([x](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aApdFhmZjSE))

He hates her.

He _wants_ to hate her but he can't. It would be easier to hate the girl who doesn't follow his own orders, the privileged princess who snaps back at him, making him feel guilty. Sometimes he wonders what would happen if he let go of her when she fell to the trap, if she died on that day.

Of course, the answer would be easy:

They will be screwed. Clarke may be a pain in the ass but she saves people. She helps them, she puts _him_ in line, so he won't make rash decisions. Bellamy laughs at himself, because hating Clarke will be stupid. 

Hating her won't do him any good. 

(loving her won't do him any good, either)

\- 

The war went on forever, Bellamy thought, but finally it stopped when they've reached a truce with the Grounders. _Peace._ And as he looked around the camp, he saw many bodies lying on the ground and he hated it, how they fought, _fought for him, for the camp, for themselves._

He saw Octavia tending to Jasper's side with Monty on her right, her sister didn't have any huge injuries, which he was grateful for. Clarke were trying to – like always – saving the other campers who faced much, much bigger injuries and Bellamy felt a pang of guilty. Octavia may not be hurt but the rest of them were.

But he couldn't bear to look at Clarke, there were blood on her, her hands, her clothes, her hair and he wished he could wash it all away, Clarke with blood isn't really a good sight on her, to be very honest and her glum expression didn't help it either. 

He turned away (because he really just stare at her _forever,_ can't he?) and walked towards the row of bodies, he needs to bury them. 

\- 

She hates him.

Well, not really but if she could, she would. The arrogant boy who thought he was the _king,_ who thought he could rule with his mighty big speeches and she proves him wrong, bringing him down, telling him it's useless or pointless and maybe, guilt-tripping him once in a while because _arrogance_ won't make a good leader.

Bellamy was the type of boy whom her mother had warned about, to stay away, because “they would only break your hearts” and boys like Finn reminded her of the prince and knights in the fairy tales her mother used to read to her at nights. But it seemed like reality were much different than fairy tales.

Because Finn was the one who broke her heart over and _over_ again and Bellamy became someone she could trust. The boy who once saved her from falling but she knew, she saw, that he was trying to figure out if he should kill her or let her live. (and he let her live, now she saves his ass from getting kill)

Clarke couldn't hate Bellamy if she tries. 

(falling in love was _never_ an option)

\- 

She is so tired. So many people have gotten hurt. So many people have died, fighting a war. There was still blood on her hands and her clothes but she didn't bother to wash. She was still on the dropship, wondering aimlessly, not knowing what to do now that all her patients are all treated. She remembered (so vividly it hurts) the fate of a young boy who she tried, _her best_ to help but she couldn't. Octavia had to stop her from falling because she was the cause of another death. Someone she couldn't save.

“Princess?”

She quickly wiped her tears away and turned around to face him (why does it have to be him that comes when she's in an almost breakdown situation?) She walked over to him, checking his injuries, a small scar on his face and a cut on his arm.

“Let me clean this wound up, it could get infected,” Bellamy nodded and let her do her job, because that's what she does, anyway. She helps others but forgets herself (her selflessness makes him respect her more but he wishes she could be a little selfish)

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Do I look like I'm okay?” she said, raising her eyebrow.

“Yeah, yeah _right,_ stupid question,” _(of course she isn't okay, bellamy you idiot)_

“What about you?” 

“I'm fine. Just happy that it's over,”

“Yeah, maybe. We may never know when the Reapers will come,”

“Way to ruin the mood, Princess,” Bellamy laughed a little and Clarke smiled, she never really heard his laughter. He always saved them for Octavia (or, maybe the girls that comes into his tent, maybe he humours them before he does it, maybe, maybe, _maybe_ )

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing,” she simply said. 

_(you have a nice laugh)_

\- 

“You're out of your mind, you know that?” Bellamy shouted at her, his face flushed and she could see the throbbing veins in his neck and she knew that he was deadly angry. 

“Bell, Clarke was–”

“Stay out of this, O, get out, I want to talk to Clarke alone,”

Octavia muttered a sorry to Clarke before leaving the tent, she knew better than to disobey her brother, especially when he's that _angry._

“She could have died, Clarke. You guys could have been eaten by the Reapers,” 

“We brought three guns, Bellamy, I can protect myself, I don't need your help everytime I leave camp,” Clarke's anger has begun to rise, she hated being treated like a little girl especially by Bellamy who was suppose to be her co-leader that should trust her.

“You could have died and I couldn't bear to lose a doctor,” his voice softened.

“Don't worry, Octavia has been learning fast now, she would be as good as me,” she said. 

“I couldn't lose you,” he said, quietly that only Clarke could hear. She looked at him, surprised. 

“What?”

“I couldn't lose you okay? I need _you._ I can't somehow take care of this camp alone, without you, this camp would fall apart,” he said. 

“Glad you finally admitted that, Bellamy,” she said, giving him a smile. Suddenly, he kissed her which took her out of surprise. She could have fall if it wasn't for Bellamy keeping her balanced. Their kiss was messy and _it felt right and god it does and she doesn't know how she feel or what this feels_

then he pulled away to breathe and she looked at him eye-to-eye (damn the height difference). 

“I can't lose you or I will fall apart,” he said slowly. (because losing her meant losing himself, too, losing the one person who brings out _something in him_ ) Clarke grinned from ear to ear and kissed his cheek.

“Didn't know you had a romantic side in you, Bellamy,” she whispered in his ear.

“You have no idea, Princess,”

**Author's Note:**

> I...don't know. I realized today that I suck at writing kissing scenes, ah well. At least I'm writing again, after 4 months so yay! This is my first work for the 100 and I hope you like it :-)


End file.
